The Party, Part X (10)

It’s summer.

She sits at home and types out her emotions, pouring her soul into the computer’s blank screen. The boy she thinks she fell for is still there and she couldn’t be happier about it. Her best friend has her own amazing guy, and it’s looking like this may be the best summer on record. Of course there are the ups and downs of life, but she takes them as best she can.

And she did jump. Took a huge leap of faith, and guess what? In his own special way, he caught her. They spend so much time just talking, whether in person or on the phone or through text, that it seems like they are each other’s tie to the world. In a lot of ways they are. He doesn’t have it the greatest, but that’s why she stays. And listens.

So why can’t he trust in her?

It’s complex, she knows, and that’s mostly okay with her. She just wishes that he would quite saying stupid things and trust her enough to tell her when things are getting tough. When he does, she listens and tries to lift his spirits. But when he’s distant…well, she worries.

Worries more than she’ll admit. He means so much to her and doesn’t even realize it. She tries to hide it, but she thinks he knows. Whatever. If she didn’t worry, who would? But that’s enough of that – she’s happy with him, whatever his emotional chaos is like. She’s content with just sitting in a swing and watching the clouds drag by with him.

She’s happy, and this time she believes it’s real.

Not like before, when she was just filling herself with empty emotions to try and pretend she was okay. No, this time it’s real. It’s really her own self, being happy. Kinda crazy, but that’s good. Some days she thinks people can tell just by looking at her that she’s in love. There’s a smile on her face that’s been hidden for a while and a twinkle in her eye that was presumed to be lost forevermore. She’s come out of her shell, and it’s all thanks to him.

He is…complex. Makes her feel so whole and so empty at the same time. So confused and so smart and so dumb. Everything and nothing. A simple smile can make her head start spinning and make her forget her own name. Simply put, our girl fell quite hard.

So how does she know if she means the same to him?