12 December 2011


i could tell you what you want to hear. "i'm fine, just tired" or "i'll be okay once i rest" or "it's just the weather getting me down". but it wouldn't be true.
it hurts to try and care, let alone actually do it. you just get hurt, so why do it? that's all that ever happens to me. i open my heart, care, let someone else in....and a week later, a month, maybe even a few months later it's all gone and i'm left with the hurt. the crushing loneliness and the sleepless nights spent crying until i feel like i could never cry again.
i'm sorry i've hurt you in all my confusing ways. my brother who does nothing but help. the one guy that tried and tried. my twin. my best friend. others that i probably do not even know.
every day, i feel like i've gone bipolar or something. half the time i have no idea where i stand, the other half all i want to do is curl up in a ball on my bed and cry until sleep takes over for my exhausted body.