29 September 2010

you wish you were a junior (:

Ooh Ah
Ooh Ah
I love you, Adalia Marie. You are beautiful, you are loved, you know it. Someday your man will come. You will be the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he won’t do anything to hurt you. ♥ But for right now, you don’t need a man. Especially one that puts you through this. I love you babe. Everything will get better, I promise you. This is just a bump on your road through life. You’re always in my prayers.
– Lauren (:

28 September 2010

dear best friend,

dear best friend,

I love you. I wish you would realize that he’s a loser, and that your friends care about you. That’s why we don’t really like him that much.
Besides that - you are amazing. And gorgeous. And stronger than you think you are (seriously).  And you deserve someone who loves you ALL the time - not just when his latest broke up with him.
I hope you’ll figure that out.
You’ve helped me through so much, kept me strong and sane. I know you can be selfish and mean, but so can I. We both know that.
Love you, babe. Stay strong.


...This is why I love Munro's character on Degrassi, Eli. He loves Claire so much, and he actually shows it. I want that. So much.

26 September 2010

dear person i like,

You know who you are. You've known for a few months. Like, 3, to be exact. Please figure yourself out. I'm getting sick of sitting around and waiting for what might not ever happen.

25 September 2010

dear last kiss,

I wish we could get back to what we had, but honestly? I think it’s over. 
If only you had the guts to just tell me to my face.

1o final words

1. I
2. Can
3. Not
4. Believe
5. I
6. Just
7. Survived
8. All
9. Of
10. These

24 September 2010

1o ways to win my heart

1. Be nerdy with me. If you can’t completely geek out about Harry Potter (or at least learn to), you need not apply. Sorry, but that’s kinda a deal breaker.
2. Be romantic. Go read Love Gives Me Hope. Do things like that, so I can write things about you on there. Make me fall in love with you more every second.
3. Know that I tend to be kinda clingy and be able to deal with that. I don’t want to have to be on eggshells, wondering if I’m annoying you and screwing things up. I’ve gone through that, and it sucks.
4. Know my views and know why I support them. Don’t argue with me for the sake of arguing. I am who I am, and that’s reflected in my views. Please leave them be. If we don’t see eye to eye, that’s fine. Just don’t try to shove your views down my throat.
5. Make an effort. Communication is a two-way street, and I’m not going to be the one initiating everything (see #3)
6. Make me laugh. Life is a journey, make the most of it and all. I’d rather have someone who was fun and dirt poor than rich and stuffy a million times over.
7. But up with my crazy. I get OCD about a few little, stupid things. I can go into intense mood swings because my day’s been crappy and I don’t feel like keeping up my “happy” face. I obsess over things I could’ve, should’ve done. Please bear with me.
8. Earn my trust. Don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t be a jerk. Make me want to love you, to let you win my heart. And always know - if you do, at least tell me. That’s way better than finding out the hard way.
9. Understand that I tell my best friends everything. Don’t get mad at me for that. Also don’t get mad when they try to protect me. That’s who they are, and I certainly can not control them. So don’t blame me.
10. Love me for me

23 September 2010

1o songs

1. “Here I Stand” [AOL Sessions Under Cover] ~ Madina Lake
2. “The Guilty Ones” ~ Spring Awakening Soundtrack
3. “Defying Gravity” ~ Glee and Wicked
4. “Me Vs. The World” ~ Madina Lake
5. “Like We Used To” ~ A Rocket to the Moon
6. “Virginia Woolf” ~ Indigo Girls
7. “Be Calm” ~ fun.
8. “Be My Escape” ~ Reliant K
9. “Franklin” ~ Paramore
10. The song my uncle wrote for me (:

1o important people

1. My parents (yes, two separate, but it counts here, okay?)
2. Audra
3. My siblings
4. Chelsea
5. Lauren
6. Lenore
7. Trev
8. Uncles and Aunts
9. TJ
10. Cody, Josh and Eric <3

1o things that i couldn't live without

1. Audra. I don’t know if she realizes it, but she’s important. Very much so.
2. Writing. Without it, I’d lose my mind. Literally.
3. Reading. Same as ^^^^
4. Love. I’m a romantic, I believe my soul mate is out there. I just haven’t found them yet…
5. Music. I’m addicted. (:
6. Animals. Ever needed puppy therapy, people? It’s amazing.
7. My friends. ‘Nuff said.
8. Social networking sites. xD
9. My computer. 
10. …Food?

22 September 2010

1o wishes

1. Cure for diabetes
2. You
3. Less stress, more fun
4. To get my book done
5. …And published
6. Be pretty
7. Unlimited budget to go clothes shopping
8. For my best friend to realize how amazing she is
9. Find my fairytale
10. Go be a “starving artist” in Europe for a while. Long enough to get an accent

don't you wanna take her, make her all your own?

Oh jeeze. 

I messed up again. With one of my last chances, possibly.

So this is my apology. You know who you are.

I'm so very sorry.

21 September 2010

you know...

that feeling you get when you call someone, the butterflies in your tummy?

It sucks when they're there, and then you get voicemail

1o things to say to one person

1. I missed what we had this summer. A lot more than I admit to you.
2. Selena Gomez? Really? Well, I DID get mistaken for her last month….
3. I need to quit some clubs, I know. I really do.
4. Excuses? They don’t really cut it anymore. 
5. I don’t appreciate it when I leave class for a few minutes and you start talking to one of my best friends about me. Even if you are trying to explain - explain it to me, not her, please.
6. I meant it all. Did you?
7. I’m willing to work at this, but only if you do too.
8. I don’t care if you don’t have time. All I want is the confidence we had in each other before. One month and I saw you once. And guess what? I was totally okay with it. I wish you had been too.
9. When I say I want you to call me, it means I REALLY want to talk to you but I’m afraid to pick up the phone and dial myself.
10. I thought we had something, and there’s a chance at it still. But not if you’re texting some other girl behind my back and lying about it.

1o things i hate

1. Diabetic Ketoacidosis. Sooooooo much. Third time its “attacked” in like 5 weeks. Blargh.
2. When people lie. Especially when it’s so outrageous, and they think you still believe them.
3. When guys are indecisive. 
4. Cooked carrots :/
5. When my room’s messy (like now, cuz I’m sick)
6. STRESS. But, alas, welcome to my life lately.
7. Not being able to read a book due to time constraints. If I can’t read, I lose my mind.
8. Not being able to write due to time constraints.
9. Whiny rich girls who think their lives suck because their daddy said no to the $10000 Coach bag.
10. Being short.

20 September 2010

1o things i love

1. You (:
2. Reading
3. Writing (actually, this should be number 1….whatever, I suppose)
4. The number 4
5. Sleeping. Hey, I am a teenager, after all.
6. Chinese take-out
7. Harry Potter. 
8. Dancing in the rain.
9. My best friend, Audra
10. Music
Jeeze, I feel so average. Everything here you could have guessed pretty much :P

19 September 2010

1o things about me

1. I write. It’s my eating, my breathing, my life. Don’t ever ask me to give it up.
2. My favorite food is crab cheese ragoons. 
3. I used to journal, but now I blog. WAY too much.
4. My favorite celebs are Ian Somerhalder and Rupurt Grint.
5. Harry Potter history? I know it better than US. 
6. My friends are some of the most important people in my life.
7. Music = #2 in my life, after writing. Especially Madina Lake, The Maine, All Time Low, the Spring Awakening soundtrack and the Sweeney Todd one. 
8. I already have 5 of my tattoos picked out.
9. I celebrate weird holidays. Like Harry Potter-themed ones. 
10. I love owls. That’s why it got tacked onto my nickname. 

mirror mirror....

You reblogged clickifyoudare:
1 - Ten things about you
2 - Ten things you love
3 - Ten things you hate
4 - Ten things you want to say to one person
5 - Ten wishes
6 - Ten items you can’t live without 
7 - Ten Important people 
8 - Ten of your favorite songs
9 - Ten ways to win your heart
10 - Ten final words.
…I’m gonna regret this, probably. But going to mirror it over on my other blog

15 September 2010

in the end, we only breathe for so long

Oh, you know how much I love nights like this.

When I get told I'm being a crappy friend for caring, that I'm driving myself crazy trying to do what you've instilled in me since the beginning, and that you're just wasting your time because I stopped listening a long time ago.

I listened to every word.

Even when you started getting mad because I wanted to go sleep. Sure, that might not sound like much to you, but when you're me and sleep hasn't been coming, the more hours to try the better the chance I might actually get a good night's sleep.


just to add some more stress....

Audra screwed up. 

Was on tumblr, and liked on of my posts. Not from the blog I know she has, but from the one she never wanted me to find. The one she never wanted anyone that knows her to find.

So...Awesome. This is terrible.

Thanks for making me realize you’ve been lying about stuff. LOTS of stuff.
Makes me feel like an awesome best friend.

breakdown numero uno

So, the previous post was what we like to call "Addy's first minor breakdown of the year."

There will probably be more, considering that was only the first full week of school I've had, and I'm already stressed. Already figured out I need to drop acting this year and crew in the spring to survive, plus driver's ed and a steady job.

Nice, eh?

14 September 2010

does he hold you when you cry?

I sound uber depressing. 
I feel uber depressing.
I am uber depressing?

First week of school, and already stressed to the max. 
The parentals want to add "job" to that list.
I can hardly get up in the morning for wanting to never move.
I can't sleep.
I hate getting up and going to school.

And now I sound like a whiny, spoiled brat.
I'm always snapping at people.
I have no clue why.

You don't know it.
But when I go to my room?
It's to cry.

haven't you heard a word?

Why are people so freaking complicated?

I don't enjoy it. Not one bit.

13 September 2010

i was born in the arms of imaginary friends

...Apparently, I was wrong. Again. Like that's anything new, but still.

I genuinely thought he would be different. He acted like it, said all the right stuff, made the game on Friday seem like a date...but apparently not. You know, since he completely ignored me all day. Like, as in walking into me to see other people, ignoring me.

Awesome sauce. I just loooooove when that happens.

Today? Yeah...
(Can anyone else tell I'm on a musical kick again?)

I just want to curl back into my covers and pretend the world's as innocent as I used to think it was. Where every girl was a princess and had a prince charming on the way.

Cuz now? I'm starting to not believe it anymore...

12 September 2010

i wish i was strong enough to breathe

Theme song for today

Well, for always, actually, loves. And this one. Mostly anything by the fabulous Madina Lake.

You know how most teenage girls love bands because of how good looking its members are? I like these guys for how good they are. Not just in talent, not just in looks, but in morals and actions. Case in point?

"A man was walking down the street for a drink one night and saw another man beating his wife. 

Putting himself in immediate danger he stopped the man, but in return almost died himself. 

Rock-stars who risk their own life for a person, gives me hope. Matt Leone, bassist of Madina Lake, you GMH." (see it here)

He's just a good guy. And he's still recovering. So, if anyone has some spare change or anything laying around, go here to help - Sweet Relief . 

11 September 2010

ooh yeah yeah yeah

And it's still out of my reach
And you're still
All of the things that I want in my life
How could I ask you to leave me?
And we were just kids in love
We walked down the beach, counting every star
Hearts beat inside out chest
Leaving us gasping for every breath

~kids in love, mayday parade

so many thing i'd say if only i were able

We won! 35 - 0!!!

And...I might have won. I'll have to get back to ya on that one. (:

10 September 2010

and color the hours

First game of the season tonight. Good luck, Wildcats. I'll be cheering you on with (possibly) a New Guy. Yes, yes, I know - it's crazy, but it's pretty darn amazing at the same time.

08 September 2010

my escape, take me far far away

Please take me anywhere but here.


I have no idea what this is. Maybe beginning-of-the-year depression? But something about today makes it suck. Like, this entire week. It doesn't seem to just be me, either, which makes me feel better.

But, then again, things have not been exactly happy-making. Lost another perspective bf, still not sure what's going on with Trev...Some days it seems fine, other days it's like "Oh, yup, another one you've scared off. Good going, old chap."

And then I feel like I get so desperate that any given guy could ask me out and I'd say yes. No lie. I guess it's because I've seen too many movies and read too many books, but I want that stereotypical "high school sweetheart" romance. Someone to surprise me with roses in my locker on our anniversary. To help with homework. Cheer me on at the PowderPuff game. Take me to prom two years running. 

That's all I want. Doesn't seem like much, but apparently it is. A won't even look at me - I had to speak in front of the entire class today, and (of course) he was sitting right in front of where I had to stand to talk. He wouldn't even look at me. Only at the floor.

And there's no hope with me and Eric. At all. Well, as far as I know from what he's said. Or hasn't said, since I asked and he signed off on me...

Thank the gods for my brother, at least. TJ can talk me down from anything, I swear. It's really nice to have someone like him to lean on, have my back. And to have online at the same time I'm trying to talk to someone as emotional support (:


Secret love, are you there? Will you answer my prayers?

guessing even the dreams were the same

Hi. -hugs-
Baaaaaaaaad day
Oh, it couldn't've been THAT bad. I was there.
You make a valid point
But still

07 September 2010

05 September 2010

and i've just begun

Today's going to suck. I can tell.

The side of the family that's not as much...fun? good to be around?...is coming in an hour. Plus, Mum and I went out shopping this morning, almost got into 3 car accidents plus got flipped off twice.

Grrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeat. :P

04 September 2010


Did anyone else have trouble getting to their blog, or was it just mine?

For some reason, yesterday I couldn't get to Screaming. I could get to Au Revior well enough, but...I don't know. It was weird. :P

02 September 2010

tremble little lion man

Watched Bride and Prejudice earlier. "No Life Without Wife" is by far the best song, but the Indian MC Hammer was amazing.

Still not sure what to do. I feel like I messed up, and I'm not even sure what I did. It sucks.

01 September 2010

your love is like a shadow, hold me all the time

I just have no clue anymore.

Possibly, I should just forget about the entire male species and forget that they also inhabit this world. At least for the reason of procreating and whathaveyou. They're there for friendship.

And nothing more.

This is me, giving up.