28 January 2010

letter to those holiday people

What do you possibly get someone who has given you so much? What present or gift or anything can you do to show them how much you appreciate everything and how much you care?

No, seriously you guys. What do you do for Valentine's Day? Because I'm completely lost.

only a few more weeks...

Don't worry talk they will
I'll be loving you until
Morning's first light
Breaks tomorrow
I'll take care of you tonight
Brace yourself for love
Sweet love, secret love


It's so good to be by your side
But we'll cry
We won't give up the fight
We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs
And they'll think it's just cuz we're young
And we'll feel so alive

Here's to looking forward to Valentines Day.

pandas :3

I love these little buggers. There's just something about them...pandas are just my favorite.

Thought I'd let you all know

25 January 2010

letter # the third

How is it that something as small as looking into someone’s eyes is enough to say what you can’t find the words to say? That one look can tell you infinitely more than what words could ever say? That one glance can steal your breath away and make you crave just one more glimpse?

I never thought that I would ask those questions. Never thought I would need to, thought that as soon as you found someone you could just use words and they would be enough.

They’re not.

Words are so amazingly insignificant sometimes, not seemingly enough to express what we really want to say from the bottom of our souls. It’s like they stand in for the language of our soul – like when you translate something from Spanish or French to English and that certain “oomph” is missing.

But looking into your eyes, I know I don’t need words. That you can just steal one fleeting look at me and know everything I’m thinking. That I don’t need to explain myself, because you already know.

I love that.

23 January 2010

the party part xxix (29)

It worked!

Everything went well, surprisingly. There were problems, of course, but in the end nothing was burnt and everything was edible. He even said he liked it. Smiled wide and went, “Good job. I was actually really pleasantly surprised.”

Her blush lit her up like a Christmas tree. Well, according to him, since making her blush seems to be one of his favorite things to do. He just does that to her. Makes her so inexplicably happy without even trying.

She loves it.

And all their inside jokes and the stupid things they do together and the way he can be nice to her little brother even when he’s driving them both insane. The way he makes things like hide-and-seek fun. And watches stupid movies with her just to hold her. (which is pretty much her favorite part). How he lets her steal his hoodie or necklace to wear.

The hoodies make her feel safe. They smell like him and it makes her feel like he’s hugging her. She couldn’t explain it, doesn’t know how to put it into words, but they just do.

She’s so much happier than she’s been in a long time.

A moment to gush, since she can’t to her friends: He’s completely wonderful, and just makes her feel like she means something. Like she can actually do the things she wishes she could. Makes her feel invincible and vulnerable and like she can do anything because he believes that she can.

In Howl’s Moving Castle, they say “A hearts’ a heavy burden.” But it’s one she’ll gladly accept.

Because it’s his, hopefully.

21 January 2010

the party, part xxviii (28)

So…she’s going to cook for him.

It’s a bit scary. She, after all, failed when trying to make macaroni and cheese out of the box – because she didn’t know how to boil water. And he wants to be a baker when he’s older, so he knows a thing or two about cooking.

This whole dinner is her way of winding him down after a week of harsh exams. Her way of kinda celebrating their one month a week late and toasting to the fact that they’re halfway through the school year. To just sit there and eat together, without the hassle of everyone in their lunch period.

She might possibly be in over her head.

One of her best friends joked about getting a distress signal once our girl enters the kitchen, and she’s probably not that far off. Our girl is more talented with mixing up some brownie batter and licking the spoon afterwards. Not throwing together an entire dinner for someone she actually wants to impress.

The only thing she can think to get her mind off of her inner freaking out is to study, but the only exams she has left are nothing. Her art one she can opt out of, and the Photoshop one you get to have the application open the entire time. So she sits at her computer and writes, hoping it will have the same affect.

(writer’s block sucks)

Hard to write something to calm your own nerves when the words just won’t flow. When they get stuck somewhere between you heart and your fingertips and the blood just won’t thicken into ink.

It’s enough to relax her by listening to him play video games. He gets so into it, yelling at the screen and freaking out. It’s even better, though, because he’s in a great mood and she just can’t help laughing. There’s so much about him that she loves, like how he says Pear-e instead of Paris, and how he can make her blush with a single word, a single gesture.

She’s pretty much on cloud nine, even if she is still freaking out a bit.

20 January 2010

18 January 2010

art class

I never have enjoyed a class as much as this one. And this is the last of the semester. :(

Sucks, but I guess that's the way the world works. I still have him, even if I question why I still do after all I've done, and it's amazing.

Just wanted to say. -shrug-

16 January 2010

the party, part xxvii

It’s the eve of their official one month.

And our girl is trying to hype herself up on caffeine and get the creative juices flowing. She’s never gotten to this point before, never thought she could, and yet here she is. And, of course, this is the moment she needs her words to flow and they suddenly decide to stop.

It’s like the words got clogged up somewhere between her heart, her mind, and her fingertips. The words that once poured out, ink spilling like blood, are now stuck. The adjectives and verbs and nouns all caught up somewhere else, taking a little vacation at the most inconvenient of times. Deserting her and making writing the simplest of sentences more difficult than it all needs to be.

But she could care less.

Because she is so unimaginably happy. He’s like every love song she ever heard wrapped into one amazing person. Every cliché. Every bit from a book that made her say, “I wish this would happen to me.” His smile makes her want to be so much more than she is, makes her believe she really can be better.

He calls her his fishie, his angel, but the only thing she cares that he calls her is his. His girl. The first time she heard him say it, she caught her breath, not daring to believe he had really said it. But he had.

Prepare for the invasion of warm fuzzies.

She could never have prepared for any of this, and every day she wakes up and thinks it’s all been some great dream. Something her imagination ran wild with, imagining all these great situations, and now she’s woken up and it’s still 2009 and she’s alone.

The best part is seeing him. Because, once he smiles, then she knows it wasn’t a dream, it’s all real, and somehow she got someone this great. Someone who argues, “No, I’m the lucky one to get a girl this beautiful.” Someone who won’t let her get all depressed, because he’ll jump in and wink at her before she can even think about getting sad.

Someone she just can’t believe she has in her life.

12 January 2010


Adalia: screws up everything. Just wanted to let you all know.

11 January 2010

Adalia: takes things too far, cares too much, wants to crawl into bed and listen to paramore all night, doesn't want to be here, doesn't want to deal with any of this, hates the taste of cooked carrots, wants to be a writer, doesn't want to talk to anyone for a while, likes chocolate, needs to go row or something, is "sometimes" loved, doesn't even care anymore.

10 January 2010

the party, part xxvi (26)

And hearing that does keep them away.

Nightmares have dogged her every step for the last month or so. Not things that go bump in the night, but things more realistic and things that scare her. Situations that play out and end up losing people or having to admit that there’s nothing she can do to save those that mean so much.

But he helps. A lot. Far more than she would have ever imagined. It’s like hearing that can just erase every dream that tries to worm it’s way into her head until only the good ones can squeeze through. Like she has her own personal dream catcher.

She blushes a lot more these days, too.

It’s something he’s commented on a few times. That, and the fact that her heart’s beating quicker than lightning every time he hugs her. There’s nothing she can do about it – it’s just him. Just the way he makes her feel. It drives her crazy (in a good way) that all he can do is wink at her and she just smiles like some crazy person.

They’ve been together just shy of a month. It seems so much longer to both of them, that they can hardly believe it. Seems crazy that they knew each other for so long before getting over everything and finally getting together. It’s been a crazy, insane, amazing last few weeks.

Our girl’s never smiled so much in her life.

Or blushed so much, or laughed at such ridiculous things, or been able to write so well. She can sit down now and crank out over a thousand words in 15 or 20 minutes. There’s so much energy in her that she can’t just sit still. She has to do something, anything at all. For the first time in a while, she has an escape other than her bedroom. Has a confidant that doesn’t just meow at her and then run away.

She has someone who means the world to her. Someone that makes her heart beat just a bit faster whenever she just thinks about him. Someone that knows all the right things to say to drag her out of her deepest sadnesses or make her laugh.

Someone that is just so incredibly amazing that she doesn’t know what she did to deserve him.

09 January 2010


Isn't it just great when someone can make you blush like crazy with a single glance, a single word?

the party, part xxv (25)

The New Year is rung in.

She spends it dancing crazily downtown, seeing one of her favorite bands ever with one of her favorite people. A slower song comes on, and he wraps his arms around her waist and starts dancing with her in a crowd of thirty thousand people. It’s like time slowed down and the world was just the two of them.

A sigh escapes her lips before she can stop it. She didn’t even want to – she’s happy and content and freezing her butt off but it’s all worth it. Because this guy is so amazing. Because she can hardly believe she’s really there. Because she’s never felt this great before.

And this is only their first date.

Only the first time when people would see them in a public and go, “Hey, look, they’re together.” The first time when she really felt claimed by someone who cared for her outside of her family. The first time when she can totally let go of every inhibition she has and be herself. The first time someone has accepted her as such.

Somehow, in that moment, she is a part of everything around her. The happiness of everyone in the crowd, the pleasant tingle of human contact, the music pouring out of the sound system.

And once the music stops, she knows she still has him.

Let’s just call this guy A. (to make things simpler for everyone). He’s pretty much the greatest thing she’s ever seen, and our girl is happier than she been in a long, long while. He…he just knows her. Somehow always knows exactly what to say, like the right response is tattooed on our girl’s forehead, and somehow is just this really sweet guy. She’s never had anything like that. It’s like that Orianthi song – “According to You”. Before, her best friend’s opinion was all that mattered. But this guy? A? His opinion is what’s great. Because he’s just spent time telling her how wonderful she is, how pretty, and how he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than with her.

But our girl’s more of a shy person than she lets on. This whole relationship thing fairly freaks her out, but she’s ready to rise to the challenge. He’s worth fighting for, and she would do anything not to lose him. Already has, fighting off the rumors and other people’s opinions and trying to just not care.

Because, at the end of the day, just hearing him say “Goodnight” is enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

07 January 2010

luck o' the irish?

The one day that I ever just need to sit and soak in a nice, long bubble bath? Yeah, there's a mysterious water pipe leak and our house's water gets shut off. Thanks, universe.

06 January 2010


Just thought I'd leave you all a little love.

Sorry it's a bit jumpy though.

03 January 2010


I bought a red bellied newt. And, after much consideration, named him Inigo. Like the guy from The Princess Bride. But we call him Iggy.

Here he is, in all his adorable-ness.

02 January 2010


So...post of not really good things, and then one amazing one.

Lost one of my best friends at the tail end of the year. He won't speak to me, and...I don't know, I guess it's harder than I would ever like to admit.

The weather didn't cooperate on New Year's Eve, so me and my someone froze. We kept going inside shops and stuff to warm up, since neither of us thought to bring hand warmers or anything. But it was a blast. Slow danced to "Thunder" when Boys Like Girls played it, and right then the snow started falling...it was really beautiful.

And then, best of all, I got my New Years kiss. Not at midnight, since I had to get home, but as he was wakling me back. I wish I could have frozen time for a minute, just once.