31 August 2010


Always the liker, never the like-ee.


*ahem* sir evil? your spacecraft is ready

Though I would advise one thing, if he starts to confide to you that he's confused about his sexulaity, you make a move. Make him VERY confused.
-salutes- Yes, sir!

30 August 2010

every february, you'll be my valentine

There once was a girl who loved too easily and got her heart broken
She wasn't that smart, and kept falling for the wrong guys
Ones that hurt her, that couldn't be the guy she wanted - or needed
Another and another still would promise her love and everything else
But they lied
Then, one day, she said "Forget this" and shut herself in a tower
Until, you know, that one guy (I forget his name) found his way in
And then it was happily ever after

just watch your back, you won't know what to do


It sucks.

8 days until school and suckishness and drama. Argh.

29 August 2010

i keep telling myself i'm not the desperate type


A week later is when you "remember" to call me back? And not even then, only because I pop up on chat and say hello?

Great. Awesome. Lovely. Glad to know you want to work at it, like you said you did.

 You sound so innocent, all full of good intent. You swear you know best. 
But you expect me to jump up on board with you, ride off into your delusional sunset

hate to break it to you babe, but i'm not drowning

What do you do when you haven't the foggiest idea what's going on?
How do you figure out one's complex emotions,
Especially when yours are just as jumbled?
When do you just go for it?
When do the benefits outweigh the risks?
When do you let me know if you feel the same?

27 August 2010

something is not the same.

Yeah, like my nose! (:

Pretty much, I got it pierced! It didn't even hurt - mostly just surprised me. Get to hang out with some of my people tomorrow. Maybe Eric and Audra, Bri, Cody&&Syd, Lenore...I'm excited. Haven't gotten to hang out with all my lovelies for quite a while, at least not all at once. And then might be getting my hands on the Sweeney Todd soundtrack. I absolutely LOVE "By the Sea". And the reprise of "Johanna".

26 August 2010

are you with me? rain is falling down on the sidewalk

Let's see...what happened today? Got kidnapped, taken to McDonald's, stole one of our friend's Scott Pilgrim books from his car while he was working at said McDonald's, looked at wedding dresses, looked at cake decorations, made a trip to the library and then bought candy.

Got to see the Fox and the Jessica (my "kidnappers"), and went dress shopping. Jess's getting married in 2 - 4 years (we're trying to get her to get married in 2, before the end of the world) so it was fun to see her all dressed up. Just found out I get to be a bridesmaid (: I'm extremely excited.

Plus we bought gummy butterflies. How can you not have a good day after that?

28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds

...That is when the world will end.

25 August 2010

stop the press, everything a mess

...I need to write.
I need to sleep.
I need to let you know.
Need to let all these emotions out.
Get that load off my chest.
Figure out what's yours and mine.
Get rid of the skeletons and ghosts.
Fall and hit the ground.
See birds flying by, celebrate.
Lie on a merry-go-round and dream.
Careless whispers.
Becoming what we long to be.
Knowing secrets, forgetting pasts.
Wanting love.
Needing love.
Becoming love.
What can I do?

23 August 2010

at first, when i see you cry, it makes me smile

Talked to Trev again the other day... predictably, he said he was going to call back, and it's been two days. My phone's not ringing, honey.

-sigh- Did I really expect any different? Shouldn't've.

Got a nice day planned tomorrow, though. Hanging out with Eric, getting my hair done. Nose pierced on Friday! (:

Nothing else really interesting...sorry. Will write something for you all soon!

22 August 2010

got no reason, got no shame

Eric:  from the bottom of my heart, I'd like to wish you a happy birthday. I love you and cherish you and we need to hang out more!

Oh, how I love this kid. He makes me feel amazing. And that is one thing that Trev hasn't done in a while. Especially since we haven't talked in over a week. He didn't even call or Facebook me a "Happy Birthday!"

Eric not only did both, but showed up at my house for my party and kept telling me how much he loves me and how beautiful I looked in my Alice outfit. (My dress and my necklace,) It was wonderful.

"You got much muchness, you see."

18 August 2010

we would never need to face the world alone.

...One day.

Let's look back, shall we? Fifteenth year in review:

Lost a friend?
Of course

Kissed anyone new?

Had your heart broken?

Were involved in something you'll never forget?

Dyed your hair?
Parts of it

Came close to losing your life?
Eh, not literally

Read a great book?
Yes, lots of them <3

Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
Yes. Boys Like Girls on New Year’s Eve

Saw someone famous in person?

15: Your Love Life

Did someone break up with you?

Did you get anything for Valentine's day?

Did you meet anyone special?
Yes :D

Did you fall in love?
I thought I had.

Do you like someone right now?

15: Friends and Enemies

Did you meet any new friends this year?
Lots of them. And I love them all.

Who are your closest friends?
Audra, Lauren, TJ, Eric

Did you grow apart from anyone?
A lot of people, actually

15: All about YOU

Did you change at all this year?
I think so

Did you get your hair cut?

Did you change your style?
Pretty much. 

Were you in school?
Sadly, yes.

Did you get good grades?

17 August 2010

this is our night, look in my eyes

Just let go tonight. So close tonight.


Got my relationship qualifications raised, aka I watched Pride and Prejudice. And Phantom of the Opera. Both for the first time in one night. Basically, from where they were, the level has been raised to Mr. Darcy.

Why don't I be Lizzie, and we can find our own Fitzwilliam Darcy for me?

15 August 2010

forever we'll be, run baby run

I'm so introspective today. Will be, probably, until the end of the week. It's always like this around my birthday. I take my life under a magnifying glass, inspect all the bits and pieces of things and see what I need to tweak.

My love life is one of the major pieces to be re-examined. My lovely love, Eric, apparently has someone lined up for me, details to come later. I'm a little bit excited, since he knows me very well and knows my tastes.

Argh, just want to get this party started. Going to go watch some AVPS tomorrow with the Lauren and then helping her clean so we can paint her room soon.

I think I'm going to go off and do another thing like Don't Let Me Fall. It was fun to do, and it really helped me calm down. I suggest anyone reading this do one as well. It clears out your head and helps you sort things out.

does he watch your favorite movies? does he hold you when you cry?

I'm done.

If he's going to keep acting like this, like I'm suddenly the bad guy, then I'll find someone who treats me like a queen and half...Someone that will promise to do the below things, and actually do them.

Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts?
When you've seen it a million times
Does he sing to all your music?
While you dance to purple rain
Does he do all these things?
Like I used to?

Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you everyday?
Will he make you feel like your invincible
With every word he'll say
Can you promise me that this was right?
Don't throw it all away
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things?
Like we used to

14 August 2010

i want your love, and i want your revenge

You know I'm in a bad place when even a playlist of Glee music can't help me. Keep Holding On, Don't Stop Believing, Bad Romance, Dream a Little Dream, No Air, Jessie's Girl...and I still feel sad.

And today's the day that the family is celebrating my sweet sixteen. Going out for dinner, maybe seeing Scott Pilgrim...speaking of which, had to go and make one of these avatars for myself. Make your own here.

I want someone like that. I could be Ramona, I could have the Evil Exes, and my very own Scott Pilgrim...and he would actually love me enough to battle the Evil Exes. And Audra could be my Kim.

Shouldn't be so complex, to find love, but there it is.

every now and then i fall apart

And I need you now tonight
and I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cuz we'll never be wrong

Nothing I can do - a total eclipse of the heart.

Everything I try to fix only ends up getting worse. Maybe I should just become a hermit. Then less people would be mad at me.

12 August 2010

munro (:

don't let me fall

One of my friends told me to just sit down, empty my brain, and write down what I thought. Here's what I got:

Love is gonna free us
Conversations bleeding day and night together
Ringtones foretelling doom and pain
Bright sun, dim inside
Turn down the voices in my head
Alice fell down that hole looking for herself and found Hatter instead
So if I’m Alice, what does that make you?
Eat the cake, drink the wine
Change yourself to fit the mold
It’s pouring in the sunlight and warm in the dark
Hearts, minds, feeling synchronizing
Feeling together and apart
Wanna curl up in bed, go stand on the roof and scream, pretend happiness
Wish you felt something
Don’t let me fall
Catch me if you trip
Are you thinking of me?
Disjointed thoughts, pictures, ideas swirling around to make sense
Watching stars collide and painting roses
Feeling as lost as she
World’s upside down, taste the cake, sip the wine, give in
Don’t let me lose myself
I won’t let you
So why do we argue what is real? What feels right? What is true?
Opposites attract after all, so work at it
Make it work
Fall down the hole

11 August 2010

if i died inside, would anyone realize?

How is it that we went from so happy to this "breaking up but not really" thing?

10 August 2010

madina lake love

(reblogged from GMH)

A man was walking down the street for a drink one night and saw another man beating his wife. 

Putting himself in immediate danger he stopped the man, but in return almost died himself. 

Rock-stars who risk their own life for a person, gives me hope. Matt Leone, bassist of Madina Lake, you GMH.

I knew there was a reason I loved this band. 

08 August 2010

I love Audra so much. she is amazing and funny and smart and pretty and awesome
just fyi. shes the best friend I've ever had <3

i feel it's gonna rain like this for days

So bring on the rain.

Talked to the boyfriend. Apparently, we're going "on hold" for the rest of summer due to his work and CC and such...how is it "on hold" when we've seen each other a grand total of once since we started dating? How much more can we slow it down? It's not like we hardly get to talk anyhow...

I don't know what to think, except that he promised he wouldn't hurt me like A did. But...sometimes it seems like he's still going to.

Best part? He probably has to work on my birthday. Ever heard of asking for the day off? Apparently not.

06 August 2010

want your bad romance

Okay, so the makeover didn't go exactly as planned. Audra cut my hair (just a trim!) and then we pretty much just dressed up as different cliques at our school and took pictures. Played around with makeup like we were little and modeled. It was hilarious. As you can see below, we MAY have gone a bit overboard...

She's coming over soonish to help me do some peekaboo highlights in my hair, but that's about it.

Haven't seen the BF in like two weeks. Sadness.

Oh, got food poisoning yesterday, too, from the diversity meeting I had to go to. Bad Blimpie sandwiches.

Awesome, right? -sigh-


03 August 2010

i'm sure you have all the girls demanding wedding rings

Makeover day! Audra's coming over and playing Guinea Pig Addy to practice. And then she's playing wardrobe assistant and photographer. Wanted Trevor to come too, do some couple shots, but it got shot down.

So: makeup, hair style/color, wardrobe...it's all changing. I'm getting a nice little influx of $$$ soon, and we're gonna go thrifting to make it last. Plus I have $25 to PacSun. I'm excited. 16th / junior year is gonna be good. I can feel it.


01 August 2010

i bet you didn't expect this...she made me change my ways

Loving the rest of the summer, now that I'm home. Great boyfriend (here's his blog, but nothing's there yet), ah-mazing friends, and a Mad Hatter tea party Sweet 16 in a few weeks. What could be better?

Not much (: