The talking continues.
Conversation flows easily, and when she thinks about it later she realizes how crazy the topics are. It can go from The Great Zombie Debate to his past to the bakery she wishes to open to the plans his family has laid down for him, as easily as breathing. She doesn’t even care that he’s so busy – he still takes time out to talk to her. It’s (almost) enough to keep her satisfied.
Of course, she likes it better when she’s with him instead of just talking over the phone. Things are more intimate, and it’s easier to figure out what he means when he doesn’t say anything. And you can’t read palms over the phone. Or accidentally end up holding hands. Or wander through a cemetery until your parents worry. You can strengthen the connection, sure, but…well, she likes being around him.
He’s just amazing.
To and for her. Jokes around and is just the right balance of funny, teasing and serious. He knows when she needs him to listen and give honest advice and when he needs to make her laugh before she cries. They have their mock fights – especially because she knows he’s adorable and he refuses to believe it.
She cherishes the moments they spend together. They might be the best thing she has, and she’s terribly protective of them. It might sound terribly pathetic and odd, but she rests easier after talking to him. His voice is soothing; like a drug. It calms her, makes her laugh, makes her worry, makes her care.
But he doesn’t seem to know.
Though she sends out every signal and subtle hint she can, even flat out telling him, this guy just doesn’t seem to get what she means. Sure, he thinks he does, but there’s a difference between assumed meaning and true meaning. A huge difference. Monumental.
It’s okay, though. She’s okay, although it’s painfully obvious that she wants more. They talk about it a lot, but…our girl never really learned to be patient. Sure, she knows good things come to those who wait, but…whatever. She isn’t like that. She wants concrete evidence that this will last, will actually happen, and she’s terribly impatient.
If only you could fast-forward, just to see what happens, then return to the moment.
19 June 2009
16 June 2009
Tossed Around
I lean against my locker, spacing out as I wait for him. It’s before classes and it’s early. Too early for thought or conjugation or anything else that requires effort. There are people all around, but I don’t pay attention.
One phrase bursts through my bubble of thought: “I love you.” Smirking to myself, I consider those mere 3 words, 8 letters.
Those words are tossed around so much – too much – and it makes things hard to believe. Friends yell it in the halls to one another, lovers whisper it in each other’ ears as they hold themselves together, its in the shy girl’s eyes as she watches him with someone else.
But how often in high school do you hear people say it and mean it? How often are they murmured like a prayer to the person you need to have hear you?
Not often.
Truth is, we’re all just lonely kids trying to figure out what love is. So, we think we find it, but we really haven’t. You can pick out those who have truly loved another with their heart and soul. They don’t toss the words out, but tentatively hand them out like pieces of their very essence to those they trust.
That’s how it should be.
One phrase bursts through my bubble of thought: “I love you.” Smirking to myself, I consider those mere 3 words, 8 letters.
Those words are tossed around so much – too much – and it makes things hard to believe. Friends yell it in the halls to one another, lovers whisper it in each other’ ears as they hold themselves together, its in the shy girl’s eyes as she watches him with someone else.
But how often in high school do you hear people say it and mean it? How often are they murmured like a prayer to the person you need to have hear you?
Not often.
Truth is, we’re all just lonely kids trying to figure out what love is. So, we think we find it, but we really haven’t. You can pick out those who have truly loved another with their heart and soul. They don’t toss the words out, but tentatively hand them out like pieces of their very essence to those they trust.
That’s how it should be.
The Party, Part X (10)
It’s summer.
She sits at home and types out her emotions, pouring her soul into the computer’s blank screen. The boy she thinks she fell for is still there and she couldn’t be happier about it. Her best friend has her own amazing guy, and it’s looking like this may be the best summer on record. Of course there are the ups and downs of life, but she takes them as best she can.
And she did jump. Took a huge leap of faith, and guess what? In his own special way, he caught her. They spend so much time just talking, whether in person or on the phone or through text, that it seems like they are each other’s tie to the world. In a lot of ways they are. He doesn’t have it the greatest, but that’s why she stays. And listens.
So why can’t he trust in her?
It’s complex, she knows, and that’s mostly okay with her. She just wishes that he would quite saying stupid things and trust her enough to tell her when things are getting tough. When he does, she listens and tries to lift his spirits. But when he’s distant…well, she worries.
Worries more than she’ll admit. He means so much to her and doesn’t even realize it. She tries to hide it, but she thinks he knows. Whatever. If she didn’t worry, who would? But that’s enough of that – she’s happy with him, whatever his emotional chaos is like. She’s content with just sitting in a swing and watching the clouds drag by with him.
She’s happy, and this time she believes it’s real.
Not like before, when she was just filling herself with empty emotions to try and pretend she was okay. No, this time it’s real. It’s really her own self, being happy. Kinda crazy, but that’s good. Some days she thinks people can tell just by looking at her that she’s in love. There’s a smile on her face that’s been hidden for a while and a twinkle in her eye that was presumed to be lost forevermore. She’s come out of her shell, and it’s all thanks to him.
He is…complex. Makes her feel so whole and so empty at the same time. So confused and so smart and so dumb. Everything and nothing. A simple smile can make her head start spinning and make her forget her own name. Simply put, our girl fell quite hard.
So how does she know if she means the same to him?
She sits at home and types out her emotions, pouring her soul into the computer’s blank screen. The boy she thinks she fell for is still there and she couldn’t be happier about it. Her best friend has her own amazing guy, and it’s looking like this may be the best summer on record. Of course there are the ups and downs of life, but she takes them as best she can.
And she did jump. Took a huge leap of faith, and guess what? In his own special way, he caught her. They spend so much time just talking, whether in person or on the phone or through text, that it seems like they are each other’s tie to the world. In a lot of ways they are. He doesn’t have it the greatest, but that’s why she stays. And listens.
So why can’t he trust in her?
It’s complex, she knows, and that’s mostly okay with her. She just wishes that he would quite saying stupid things and trust her enough to tell her when things are getting tough. When he does, she listens and tries to lift his spirits. But when he’s distant…well, she worries.
Worries more than she’ll admit. He means so much to her and doesn’t even realize it. She tries to hide it, but she thinks he knows. Whatever. If she didn’t worry, who would? But that’s enough of that – she’s happy with him, whatever his emotional chaos is like. She’s content with just sitting in a swing and watching the clouds drag by with him.
She’s happy, and this time she believes it’s real.
Not like before, when she was just filling herself with empty emotions to try and pretend she was okay. No, this time it’s real. It’s really her own self, being happy. Kinda crazy, but that’s good. Some days she thinks people can tell just by looking at her that she’s in love. There’s a smile on her face that’s been hidden for a while and a twinkle in her eye that was presumed to be lost forevermore. She’s come out of her shell, and it’s all thanks to him.
He is…complex. Makes her feel so whole and so empty at the same time. So confused and so smart and so dumb. Everything and nothing. A simple smile can make her head start spinning and make her forget her own name. Simply put, our girl fell quite hard.
So how does she know if she means the same to him?
14 June 2009
10 June 2009
xD
"I honestly haven’t had a bad day since I started talking to you"
-
dfhdkjnk fjijrlhskd opmwoyj p[wemt
I'm so happy!
09 June 2009
Just When It All Started to Go So Good...
...It all starts to go so bad.
Why do we care about those who ignore us and ignore those who care? Why can a simple backhand gesture or comment or action cause us to all go crazy?
What if it's really not worth it, and they were all right?
What if I need to be done, but I can't stop myself?
What if I really am falling?
[[[What if he doesn't catch me?]]]
Why do we care about those who ignore us and ignore those who care? Why can a simple backhand gesture or comment or action cause us to all go crazy?
What if it's really not worth it, and they were all right?
What if I need to be done, but I can't stop myself?
What if I really am falling?
[[[What if he doesn't catch me?]]]
02 June 2009
Crazy Carnival Ride
“Welcome to my little invention. It’s something I fondly refer to as the Love Maker. Yes, yes, it sounds silly and probably just some idiotic game made up for carnivals such as this. Well then, why don’t you try it?
“Simply put your head into this little cap and sit still. What, sounds too easy? Well, my dear, love is easy – it’s the people in it that make it complicated. Just sit tight. You might feel a slight pinch around your bellybutton, but I can assure you it’s nothing that will damage you permanently. Don’t look so shocked. I did make you sign a waver before you did this.
“Easy now! Even in pain you must keep as still as possible or your soul might be injured! Oh, I forgot to mention that part, didn’t I? You see, my machine searches your soul, heart and innermost thoughts to figure out who your perfect match is. To do so, you need to be completely still or you might suffer some rather odd side affects…
“Like what, you ask? Well, it can be as slight as a simple headache or upset stomach, or can get as severe as amnesia or a heart attack. Don’t give me that look! I did warn you beforehand! What, you want a refund? Sorry. I don’t give them out. If you notice the small print on the bottom of your waver form…yes, right there….it bluntly states that the ride operator can not and will not give out cash refunds. Actually, no refunds of any type. At all.
“Now, let’s see…only a few moments more, and then we’ll know. What? Oh, you want to know what happens once the machine finishes searching and calculating? That’s easy! Your dream person appears, of course! No, I can assure you I’m not making this up. You can believe it or not, but you certainly will in a matter of seconds.
“Wow, you sure know how to pick ‘em. Let’s see…a gentleman, smart, funny, sarcastic, environmentalist, animal lover, black hair, green eyes, avid sports player and fan…can your guy get any better?
“Here’s the kicker, hon – he’s mine now.”
---
Since I act in my spare time, I can't help but end up writing scripts and monologues. So, here's the most recent one. Written when I was bored and listening to the radio (Circus by Britney Spears came on) and this is the end result. Hope you like it. ^-^
“Simply put your head into this little cap and sit still. What, sounds too easy? Well, my dear, love is easy – it’s the people in it that make it complicated. Just sit tight. You might feel a slight pinch around your bellybutton, but I can assure you it’s nothing that will damage you permanently. Don’t look so shocked. I did make you sign a waver before you did this.
“Easy now! Even in pain you must keep as still as possible or your soul might be injured! Oh, I forgot to mention that part, didn’t I? You see, my machine searches your soul, heart and innermost thoughts to figure out who your perfect match is. To do so, you need to be completely still or you might suffer some rather odd side affects…
“Like what, you ask? Well, it can be as slight as a simple headache or upset stomach, or can get as severe as amnesia or a heart attack. Don’t give me that look! I did warn you beforehand! What, you want a refund? Sorry. I don’t give them out. If you notice the small print on the bottom of your waver form…yes, right there….it bluntly states that the ride operator can not and will not give out cash refunds. Actually, no refunds of any type. At all.
“Now, let’s see…only a few moments more, and then we’ll know. What? Oh, you want to know what happens once the machine finishes searching and calculating? That’s easy! Your dream person appears, of course! No, I can assure you I’m not making this up. You can believe it or not, but you certainly will in a matter of seconds.
“Wow, you sure know how to pick ‘em. Let’s see…a gentleman, smart, funny, sarcastic, environmentalist, animal lover, black hair, green eyes, avid sports player and fan…can your guy get any better?
“Here’s the kicker, hon – he’s mine now.”
---
Since I act in my spare time, I can't help but end up writing scripts and monologues. So, here's the most recent one. Written when I was bored and listening to the radio (Circus by Britney Spears came on) and this is the end result. Hope you like it. ^-^
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