21 October 2010

it's the color of hope on an unforgiving night

Well, that sucked

Had a nice little emotional breakdown at school today. I was fine afterwards, until I got back to class and my friend Maddie asked me if I was okay. Then it just went downhill from there. And then Sr. Marsh asked me too, and I just left.

Went home, sat on tumblr, watched TV, read, took a nap. Relaxed.

And I still feel like crap.

I just...I hate people. I hate when they break promises and when they breathe through their nose when it's all stuffed up. When they yell and scream for no reason. When they promise to not ever hurt you, then turn around and do just that. When they leave, because they always do.

I hate diabetes. I hate DKA. I hate not knowing what's wrong with me, mentally emotionally physically medically. I hate being this crazy in my head.

I hate reading books that I love, falling for the characters, and realizing none of that will probably ever happen to me.

I hate being so stressed I have no time to write. To release all of this crap.

I hate what my best friend is doing to herself, and how she doesn't realize how it affects me. How much it hurts. Especially when her latest "adventures" are more important than how scared I am.

I hate everything right now, and I'm sorry.

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