29 September 2009

The Party, Part XXI

Every bit of her soul just wants to curl up and sleep.

She’s tired, in mind and body, and just wants all the noise to stop. All the pain and heartbreak people lend her. She’s always felt everything too much, always been able to tune into other people’s emotions and problems, and it’s finally too much. Taking the darkness out of people’s hearts was way more tiring than she ever would have thought.

But she was their therapist. The person everyone could count on. The one, it turns out, that everyone used – all for their own reason. Some as the conscious they shut up long ago, others to remind themselves that they are good people, and still more just for the reassurance that someone in this world cares.

And she does.

But some days, she needs someone there for her. Someone to do the same thing that she does every day. A best friend. Sure, she has those 3 that call themselves that, but are they what they say? One hardly has the time of day for our girl, saying and doing stupid things. Another broke her heart, and it’s a different story every day with him. The last is the only one of the three who’s stuck by our girl for four years now, but now she has her faults as well. Simply put, she’s a princess.

So why does our girl put up with it? Why does she deal with the pain that haunts her every day? The people who could honestly care less?

Simply put, she cares too much.

She’s gone through so much, and she doesn’t want them to have to go through it alone like she had to. She wants them to know that someone would be crushed if anything happened to them. So she doles out her heart in pieces , handing them to those she know that need them. Those that might not have anyone else.

But the suffering always gets to be too much. It’s a habit that’s darn near impossible to break. So is our girl destined to feel like this forever?

Cos she can’t do this that long.

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