29 September 2009

the party, part xx.v (20.5)

Here's that missing part. Should go inbetween parts Twenty and Twenty One. Hence the ".v" Still have no idea how this got lost...(technically posted in December, 2009, fyi)


Some light came back into her melancholic life.

Things still go up, up, up just to crash with the other guy, like it always has, but there might be someone new on our girl’s radar. Someone who just now entered into her mind, someone new and most defiantly not him. Not the one that’s hurt her so much, continues to hurt her even when he swears he hasn’t tried to.

But this new guy. New to her life, new to her circle of friends, but it feels like he’s been there forever. Warm, tight hugs that make you feel safe, an easy laugh and even easier smile. It makes our girl feel all fuzzy inside when she makes him smile, especially on his darker days.

But, as always, there’s a catch.

He’s dating one of her closer friends. Not someone on the fringes of her life, no – someone she could never hurt like that. Of course, our girl thinks as she touches up her nail polish as she watches reruns of pointless shows. As soon as I find someone that likes me and it’s all mutual and crap, he’s got a girlfriend. And not just someone random. No. It has to be her.

It brightens her day and darkens it all at the same time. She feels so good when she’s with him, relax and zero stress (something that is extremely rare these days). Again, in the wise sentiments of Cute is What We Aim For, “what’s a crush to do?” Especially under these circumstances.

She needs an alternate universe.

One where she has one great best friend she can tell everything to, instead of about four close friends that she trusts completely but can’t bring herself to open up to. There are new ones, those that used to hang on the outer threads of our girl’s thoughts. One, a writer much like herself, the one that dragged her to the Rockin’ On the Roof, is someone our girl just loves to be around. They can just relax together, being the consoler each is for everyone else for each other. Another is one that our girl was never as close to, but they get closer every day. They’re Spanish buddies, something their English teacher really disapproves of when they start chattering during grammar practice. Then, of course, are the other two: the boy that our girl can’t get out of her head and the girl that’s not in crew.

But the alternative universe. It needs to happen, she thinks, before every semblance of sanity leaves her existence. One where he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Where her best friends aren’t quite so messed up (not to say that she doesn’t love them even if they are). Where she can wake up in the morning and look the way she wants, even if it might never happen. A time and place where she can just be comfortable in her skin.

A place where she can truly be herself.

No comments:

Post a Comment