Scattered Letters

Words scatter themselves across my page
But all I can do is sip my coffee
And sigh

The words can try and arrange themselves
Into sentences that make sense the tangle of my mind
But it’s to no avail

For if I cannot do so myself, how can they?
If I cannot make sense of my own thoughts
Then how could words flowing from my fingers?

All I want is a simple way to explain.
Explain how I feel, why he affects me so,
Why my heart skips whenever he is mentioned

How a single glance can make my day
Or how a glare could make me want to crawl into bed
Or even how the memory of his laugh makes me feel better.

Sigh again as the frustration starts anew.
Frustration stemmed from sadness, loneliness
And all those butterflies.

Taking my mug and standing from the booth,
I tuck the letters into my pocket and
Try to move on with my life

The street outside is crowded with people
Going about their lives as per usual.
Ignoring one another.

Few heads seem familiar, but
I think I glimpse that Special One in particular.
Second glance proves me wrong.

Is it sad that I see him everywhere I go?
Sad that I want what I know I’ll never have?
That I could never deserve?

From my pocket a letter suddenly flies.
I watch it dance with the wind, swooping
Swirling, spiraling with every current.

I want to run after it, but it’s useless.
After all, it was one from him
And I need to forget, though I know I can’t.