17 February 2010

letters of regret, of broken stars and dropped promises

Dear universe, web watchers, friends that know the real me behind the keys,

Today has been utterly suckish. How so? I got my heart stepped on. Over the phone. About something I didn't even do - but something which I was still blamed for. It took me literally 3 hours to stop crying.

I want to ask him for his Valentines' Day present back, use the money to get something for me, but I won't. I'm not giving him Sparkie (the bear) back. Ever. Dude, me and that bear have bonded. He's mine, no matter what.

And I suppose I still want to be friends with A. I still care about him. Thought it was all...well, not love. Not yet. But something close.

It all just sucks. Never had a relationship last this long ((sad, isn't it?)), so it hurts so much more than I would have thought. Frankly, I knew this would happen sooner or later. I was just betting on the "later" bit.

And Fling is in 10 days. Have fun finding a date before then! Not.

At least I got some pretty amazing friends.

I got a phone call about 3 minutes after it went up on facebook, plus lots of offers to beat up/maim/render him unable to produce children and an offer from one of my girlies to go to Fling with her (I love you Mal!)

So...Let's see how tomorrow's class with him goes, I guess.

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