i wonder how am i supposed to feel when you're not here

I never learned why...That's what you get when you let your heart win

So, even though I am so mad at him, even though he doesn't deserve it half the time, I trust B completely. He somehow can take the tangled mess of what I'm trying to say, sort it out and know exactly what I mean - even if I don't know it all completly myself.

I guess that's why I sent him that letter. Sometimes I confuse "trust" with "the inablity to hurt me", and I seem to never learn the difference no matter how many times it happens to me. So there I was, talking to him on the phone and trying to act like the good ol' days. Those days when I thought I mattered to him. And, in a way, I guess I still do - just not the way I would like.

We're looking up at the same night sky, keep pretending the sun will not rise. We'll be together for one more night, somewhere, somehow. If I could find you now, things would get better. We'd leave this town and run forever.